(7 min read)
Hustle culture. Atomic Habits. Never give up. Rise and grind, sunshine. Slay.
Spend a few minutes on social media or YouTube asking the algorithm how to “win at life,” and next thing you know you’ve spent hours scrolling through an endless stream of content from influencers, experts, and self-proclaimed thought leaders sharing their wisdom for how to do pretty much anything more effectively, or more efficiently.
In almost every aspect of being human – relationships, career, fitness, mental health, inner life – a quick google search will return a list of articles, blog posts, and videos listing “5 Surprising Ways” do it better.
This kind of content resonates with me. I grew up in a culture where every achievement was precisely measured against the field of everyone else’s achievements. The winning-obsessed culture in my top-ranked school system echoed the prevalent culture in most of the households in my town.
This environment had the effect of turning me into a goal-oriented person, allergic to sideways energy, with a troublesome tendency to make everything a competition. If there’s no competition, nobody wins… including me.
In some ways, this goes against my nature. At my core, I’m a creative, a storyteller, and am drawn to visual and visionary communication. But the culture of my upbringing pushes against this.
So every day I wake up with a to-do list that has more things on it than I can possibly accomplish, and at the end of the day there are too many things left undone. I’m still not doing as good a job at work as I’d like, not investing in my most important relationships as much as I’d like… and don’t even get me started on my fitness situation.
If this sounds exhausting, it’s because it is. We weren’t meant to live this way. Because it’s not God’s way, it’s our way.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being driven to achieve your goals. None of us get anywhere without some level of motivation. Pursuing and achieving our goals can be energizing and satisfying.
But the process is rarely ever as fulfilling or as freeing as we think it will be. More often than not, we become a slave to the goal we’re chasing, or to the next thing we strive to master.
Chasing your goals rarely leads to satisfaction.
What does Jesus have to say about all this?
No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money. – Matthew 6:24
This is just one of many stern warnings Jesus’ gave to his disciples as part of a longer message in the gospels referred to as the Sermon on the Mount. And while Jesus cautions us against being consumed by the pursuit of money, in our modern context money can be a proxy for anything that consumes us to the point that we allow it to shape us and become part of our identity, like fame, recognition, security, or success.
Instead of chasing goals that define us, what if we did something radically different? What if we broke free from the chase – at least enough to turn our attention to the One whose message starts with an act of… surrender?
It sounds simple, but for those of us who fall into the habit of measuring ourselves by our accomplishments it can feel like being asked to fail, on purpose.
But surrender is not the same as failure.
They say the best way to break a bad habit is to form a new one. So what new “habits” can we form to break free from our endless cycle of chasing the next goal as its own reward? How do we actively embrace surrender?
Building a habit of Surrender
Habit #1: be curious.
We all do this naturally, but what if we did it more intentionally? Sometimes, God speaks to us through our curiosity, so stay open to things that make you think. Surrender your assumptions, your unwillingness to change: be curious. Read something outside your usual media bubble.
Habit #2: invest in your character.
As Carey Nieuwhof, a podcaster, former pastor, and widely-regarded Christian leadership authority has said, “there should never be a gap between your private walk and your public talk.”
His message was to Christian leaders, but we’re all Christian leaders in our own contexts, aren’t we? And if the things we do in private should be consistent with what we do in public, then investing in our character isn’t a sometimes thing, it’s an all-the-time thing.
The best way to invest in developing your character is to pay attention to what you do in private. Character-building habits pay dividends in moments of adversity or crisis, and it’s hard to work on them in public. The time you spend investing in character-building habit may not be revealed until you face times of public crisis or adversity. But in those moments, you will be glad you did.
So how do you get started? Try replacing your bedtime doom scrolling with a prayer or meditation that you can repeat easily a few times before you sleep. Not only will you sleep better, you’ll be more ready for the next challenge you face, whenever it happens.
Looking for something simple and memorable? Try repeating “God is with me”, each time emphasizing a different word:
God is with me.
God is with me.
God is with me.
God is with me.
There are plenty of resources to help you help you along your spiritual journey and practice your faith more intentionally in our resource library.
Habit #3: make new friends.
As a kid, I moved around a lot. I’m also what could be described as a “shy extrovert.” Meaning, I like having friends to spend time with but I find the act of making friends to be borderline painful. So every time we moved, I’d experience the uncomfortable urging of my mother telling me to walk down the block and knock on another kid’s door and ask them to play.
But once I had those friends, it was awesome.
The leading indicator of your character is who you are in private, but don’t underestimate the power of relationships with other people to shape it. Whether you're an introvert or an extrovert, other people make a big difference in your life.
We become more like the people we choose to surround ourselves with, so make an effort to reach out to some new people and become friends. Small groups at church are a great way to start.
I understand that, as someone whose non-Christian friend network is significantly larger than my Christian friend network, I could be called out as a hypocrite on this. I get it; it’s comfortable, supportive, and character-building. I’m not saying to give up on friendships with people who don’t embrace the Christian faith.
But I lament the all-too-common “Christian friend network bubble” that so many Christ-followers fall into.
So go ahead and make new friends at church - please! You’ll be better for it. Just don’t leave your not-ready-for-church-yet friends behind.
Habit #4: give back… regularly.
Surrendering control over some of our time and energy isn’t just an antidote for selfishness, it’s an essential element of personal satisfaction. We’re wired for generosity, but the world pushes back on that in a million different ways: the temptation of materialism, the pressure of an increasingly challenging economy, and the demands of our modern everyday life on our most valuable asset: time.
As hard as it is, make a habit of volunteering. As someone who’s volunteered at church, in the community, and in the neighborhood, I can attest to the life-changing impact of just giving away some time. Our earthly legacy won’t be measured in money or accomplishments, it will be measured by the time we served others.
Make a habit of regularly giving financially, too - even it’s just a small portion of your income. Generosity is life-changing, but it doesn’t start overnight. It’s a habit that needs to be built over time.
The example of Jesus.
Jesus had a limited time here on earth, but never showed any of what we would call "hustle" culture. He began his public ministry at age 30 - young in today’s world, but well past midlife in Bible times.
Jesus was never rushed. He took time to meet new people, talk to those he wasn't supposed to talk to, have meals with friends, help others, and even slow down and take time for himself to pray.
Our modern working life culture has taught us that we need to hustle to get ahead. You can have it all - just focus on your goals and put in the work. But what if we're missing the ultimate, most satisfying, most good-for-us-and-good-for-the-world purpose of our lives in all the chaos of that hustle?
Maybe Jesus modeled a better way of living, not based on getting ahead, but on the greater goals of connection, compassion, and character.
Giving up our hustle mindset can open us up to paying more attention to what God has in mind for us, and the ways we can make a difference in the lives of the people around us. We just need to be open to hearing his voice in our lives. That’s hard to do when the voices we’re listening to are our own.
If you're looking for a great resource on reducing the hustle and bustle in your life, John Mark Comer's book, "The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry" has long been a popular book among Grace Chapel staff.
Are you ready to start? Let us know in the comments below.
Photo by José Martín Ramírez Carrasco on Unsplash
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